Is Postgraduate really worth?
Disclaimer: This article is written in stand-up comedian style. Just for fun, you know.
A father of four have his eldest son with a PhD in social sciences, second son with a PhD in economy, and third daughter with dual master in biotechnology and MBA. His youngest son is a thief. His neighbour said, “Such a disgrace to the family! Why didn’t you chase your youngest son away from family?” The father said, “Well, at least my youngest son is the breadwinner of our family with his only income.”
Is sad, but true…. Doing postgraduate not only cost, it also requires one to support their own life expenses with a very low income from side job such as research assistant, tutor, barista, or etcetera. Many quit in the process due to the pressure of life and the peer pressure from whom have started working early and already owned few houses, cars and may get married in anytime.
I been doing PhD in Biology and now is the final year. How do I describe my postgrad life? Well, it is full of miserable challenges and misunderstandings throughout the five years. In Malaysia, there are a lot of credit card agents normally patrolling in the supermarket. There was once I was stopped by a credit card sales agent and asking, “Hi sir, you look very old already ya, would you be interested to apply a card for yourself? I replied, “Nope, I am still studying.” Then the sales agent was looking at me like this (with a narrow needle eye….). Oh shit, it should be an misunderstanding, I tried to explain,“Don’t get me wrong, but I am doing a postgraduate.” Then he look at me with an even narrower eye…. I doubt he had eyes problem or I was confusing him with what is a postgraduate. Wokey, it was just not my day….
During festivals, we often get visited by our relatives. They normally asked, “Boy ah, how are you, what job do you get? Is it high in salary?” Then I’ll reply, “Auntie, I am quite good, but I am not working yet.” Then my auntie’s face turned very sad and said, “Oh my… you are such a disgrace to your family you know… almost age 30 already still haven’t gone to find money ah….” Then I explained, “No la auntie I am still studying my….” Auntie stopped me and said, “Aiyo you still such a disgrace la… why you never graduated one. My ah boy already graduated and become senior executive in his company already. Next year he will become assistant manager and get married. You must study hard to get out from the school you know. Auntie felt so sorry for you. Lai, I give you an extra angpao to encourage you study harder ah.” Finally she moved her focus to my another sibling.
Oh dear. Thanks for COVID-19 pandamic so I do not need to go back for Chinese New Years gathering in two years!
My PhD has been full of assignments that are never ending too. I used to love jogging and gym, however the tasks given to me were so difficult and time consuming. The pressure also make me so sick to do any other hobbies like gaming and reading. There’s was a time when I told myself, once I finished any of my PhD assignments, either short or long one, I’ll do a workout as a reward.
Day and day, night by night… at last what I got… obesity…
Also, in a world that can NFTlize any creation and sell it on OpenSea, if only if I can NFTlize all the failures I encountered everyday in laboratory, my net worth shall be even higher than Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Bill Gates. Nevertheless, I am not giving up. I believe my life is going to be better as my religion told me, go for a narrower entrance and I’ll be entering the heaven.
There were three man passed away and their souls reached the gate of heaven. God asked the first one, “How suffering were you when you’re living in the world I created?” The first one replied “I was scolded by my boss everyday to earn a living.” God said to the first one, “Pity child, but you’re still not worthy enough, bear more sufferings in purgatory and then come back again.” God asked the second person with similar question. The second replied, “I was a poor guy always looked down by my family members, throughout my life I didn’t even enjoyed once.” Then God said, “My poor child, but you may bear even more sufferings in purgatory as well and learn this is not the toughest life yet.” Finally, God reached the third one. The third replied, “God, I am not worthy. I only did a PhD.” Then God replied, “Rejoice my poor child! My heaven is belonged to yours. Not only you have experienced the sufferings of the first two, you have also developed a permanent head damage (PhD)… My pity, the sufferings had ended and you shall live happily forever in the heaven I created for the pity and poor!”
May God bless all the postgraduate students and their sufferings may end soon. Peace!